Banana Undercover

We don't have the technology

2011-04-06T11:08:00.001+08:00

Last week: I ordered a new Chinese textbook from a website that my Chinese teacher recommended (dangdang.cn if anyone's interested).

Today: A smaller than expected box arrives. I think: it's OK, I have somehow managed to buy CDs instead of a book, I'm a bit of an idiot, but at least I can listen to the CDs. I open the box, and I have sets of TAPES. CASSETTE TAPES. Sadly, I left my Walkman back in the '90s, so I have no way at all to listen to them. I can't be bothered to send them back because they were very cheap (suspiciously so, looking back). I couldn't find the exact book that they support, but I ordered a different one. Hopefully it will be OK, and an actual book.

Tomorrow: Explain to my Chinese teacher how I'm an idiot.

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How foreigners experience Spring Festival in China

2011-02-16T10:37:00.001+08:00

Hilarious, and also true. Only one more day of the official festival to go! Happy Year of the Rabbit.

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Can working in Pudong actually be good for me?

2010-08-09T20:32:00.001+08:00

So a lot has happened since I last wrote something, including my office moving to the far reaches of Pudong, which is way way further away from my apartment at People's Square. As a result of this, I also had to abandon Chinese classes because my teacher lives in Zhongshan Park. Surely she could have endured the extra 10 stops on the subway to get to my new office?

These things, plus the heat and a holiday in Europe meant that I got pretty lazy in terms of Chinese learning and trying to be healthy (too hot to walk anywhere, lots of using MealBay).

For a few other reasons, I'm trying to get into some more healthy habits, including staying on top of my blogs (now numbering four), being more proactive in my social life, studying again, eating a bit better, and exercising a bit more. Other hobbies will hopefully get picked up again later. My phone is back up and running too (it broke down on holiday and needed a new screen), so that gives me mobile internet and photo uploading, and I am trying to get into the habit of noting down things I want to write about later.

The new office in the middle of nowhere actually helps with a couple of these. I need to wake up earlier, walk a bit further, and can spend about an hour in transit listening to language and science podcasts, flicking through flashcards, or drafting blog posts like I'm doing now (or watching episodes of Battlestar Galactica). There is a severe lack of eateries at the new locale too, so I have to plan meals, which are generally healthier than the offerings at the cafeteria.

Anyway, none of this is really that interesting, but hopefully it will lead to some positive stuff for me, and some more interesting posts for you!

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Chinese 'holidays' strike again

2010-07-26T14:45:00.001+08:00

I've just checked out what holidays I'm going to get in September and October, because I know that mid-autumn festival and National Day will be around that time. Mid-autumn festival gives us a bonus 1 day off (or 3 days, as they call it), and National Day is really only 3 days off (even though they call it 7). Here are the dates:

Mid-autumn festival 22nd-24th September (Wednesday-Friday)

National Day holiday 1st-7th October (Friday-Thursday)

We have to work some Saturdays and Sundays around these days to qualify for the super duper time off, so it goes like this:

Work a normal week.

One day weekend.

Three days on.

Three days off.

Six days on.

Seven days off.

Two days on.

One day weekend.

Work a normal week.

What the hell? That's pretty much a month's worth of screwed up work weeks, and I really don't think that tradition should have this much effect on productivity. Also, my dad is coming to visit in September, so now I have to find some time where it won't be completely mad because of holidays, but when I can still get time off to see him. I was also hoping to go away for a long weekend, but I doubt that's going to happen. Argh.

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Getting more...exposed...to China

2010-07-09T13:01:00.001+08:00

I know I haven't updated in forever, and a bunch of little reasons add up to no real excuses. I am still in China, though, and my Chinese is improving, and I've managed to get out of here to go back to Europe for a definitely needed summer holiday (which doesn't stop me from wanting another one!).

My office has moved out to the far reaches of Pudong, which kills me as I live in Puxi and our old office was walking distance from my apartment. We only moved in this week, so there are still rooms being finished, and we apparently had to drag our internet out from Puxi, which apparently makes it even slower than normal. I have been assured that we are getting fibre installed soon, and it can't come quickly enough. In the meantime, the internet is down, and I'm using the lull to tell the world about a fairly traumatic experience I had a couple of nights ago.

I had gotten out of the office pretty late, so by the time I got back to Puxi it was well after dark. I decided to take a shortcut home down an alleyway behind my apartment block. It's only a few minutes' walk away from People's Square, so quite central, but poorly lit. I've never had a problem walking down there before, so I didn't anticipate any trouble that night. So I'm walking along, and I see a little white light shining ahead, maybe from a pen light. As I get closer, I can see that there's a middle-aged Chinese guy sitting on a scooter. He redirects the light so I have no doubt that what he has in his hand is...his penis. I had no idea what to do at this point, and fervently hoped that what was coming out of it was just urine (I can't believe I actually /wanted/ to see someone pissing in the street right in front of me. This all happened in the space of a few seconds and a few steps, so that by the time he evacuated his family jewels all over the concrete, I was pretty much standing right in front of him. I actually had to stop walking in order to not get anything on me. I had a serious WTF expression on my face for a couple of seconds, studiously not looking down or making eye contact, until he calmly motioned for me to keep walking.

I felt like I should have screamed something at him, but as well as being completely shell-shocked, I figured he probably wanted such attention in the first place.

This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me, and I wish it hadn't been right around the corner from where I live. I didn't feel unsafe, but I did feel fairly unclean afterwards, so I don't think I'll be taking that shortcut after hours again.

Why are people such freaks?

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Visual representation of what China censors online

2010-03-30T15:01:00.001+08:00

I was just linked to this image by a friend. The original is from Information is Beautiful, which is currently available here. I figure since this blog is blocked anyway, it won't really matter what I write here.

In other news, the spring weather has been teasingly sporadic, there has been tension at work over a possibly pregnancy-related dismissal (ah, I knew there was a reason I didn't put my real name on this blog), and I have been getting annoyed at random obnoxious Americans I seem to be exposed to in public (one of whom used the term 'man sex' repeatedly, loudly, and in a derogatory way in a tiny cafe where he probably assumed nobody could understand him). Thank goodness for headphones, free wi-fi, 90 minute massages for the price of 60 minutes, and mangos.

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I didn't think street food meant food off the actual street...

2010-03-19T10:54:00.001+08:00

I really don't know if I should thank my friend for posting this on Buzz or not. Apparently every Chinese person in China is likely to have, at some point, consumed cooking oil that was recycled from drains and gutters. Thankfully I had already eaten my 生煎包* (Shanghai fried soup dumplings) before I read this article.

MORE than 3 million tons of filthy and toxic cooking oil extracted from gutters and drains may end up back in domestic and restaurant kitchens each year.
China's top food safety watchdogs have organized nationwide swoops to stop the illegal recycling practice.
The Food and Drug Administration has ordered the setting up of strict regulations to stop the production of so-called swill oil.
Offenders found in the swoops face severe penalties.
The swill oil business was so rampant in Chinese cities that some people made a full-time living from it, according to He Dongping, head of China's oil standardization committee and a food science professor in Wuhan.
He told Chongqing Evening News yesterday these people could make more than 10,000 yuan (US$1,465) every month from excavating oil from gutters and drains.
An estimated 3 million tons of swill oil was unknowingly consumed by Chinese people every year, He said.
Red, cream-like residue from drains and gutters is collected and boiled until a layer of clear oil surfaces.
This is sold to roadside restaurants and other outlets and He believes every Chinese at some stage has probably consumed swill oil.
He said swill oil could be highly poisonous, stunt children's growth and cause liver and kidney problems.
Plus, a chemical that is abundant in swill oil is a known carcinogen.
The problem baffling scientists and food safety authorities is there is no effective method for consumers to distinguish between swill oil and normal cooking oil.
He suggested recycling all waste food oil into biodiesel.

Source: Shanghai Daily.

*Google Translate said that these characters meant 'Shengjian Package', so I did a quick search to confirm I had the right ones. Google Image search turned up a lot of delicious-looking 生煎包. Oh, Google, please don't leave China.

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Did I forget to mention how I feel about the smoking ban in Shanghai?

2010-03-07T16:28:00.001+08:00

Because I'm totally stoked about it. I didn't actually find out until after it came into effect (at the beginning of the month), but I'm so happy that smoking is now banned in most public places (and if people are allowed to smoke, they need to have a dedicated smoking area). The widespread smoking here has always been a bit of an issue for me (mostly when you're trying to eat and some dickhead at the next table is blowing smoke in your face), although I tried not to complain about it too much because, well, western countries still haven't all come into line about it (apparently you're still allowed to smoke in bars in Wisconsin?). But, now that there are rules (although who knows how often they will be enforced), I am really happy about it. I hope it means that next time I go to the hospital, the doctor won't be finishing off a cigarette like he was the first time I had to go.

Other things to be happy about are perfect Sunday eggs at Mesa (thanks for the recommendation, Wo Ai), tasty tea and free wi-fi at Citizen, old school Bon Jovi, and Thai mangos waiting for me when I get home.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Derelicte: Homeless man in China becomes an Internet fashion icon

2010-03-05T11:54:00.001+08:00

A homeless man in Ningbo has drawn international attention as a fashion icon, with articles going out about him in Asian publications as well as The Independent and the fashion section of New York magazine.

I'm not sure if I would call him 'starkly handsome' or compare him to Takeshi Kaneshiro, but I'm pretty sure I agree with what was said at the bottom of the Independent article:

His identity remains a secret, and social workers in Ningbo say they want to keep it that way. "Homeless people are vulnerable. It is incorrect to use them for entertainment purposes," said one worker at a homeless centre in Ningbo. Brother Sharp is said to appear mentally disturbed when approached on the street.

In China, begging is technically illegal, as the Communist Party-run state provides all a citizen could need. In reality, the rapid development of the Chinese economy in the last 30 years has marginalised many.

The rumours surrounding Brother Sharp's true identity persist. Some say he is a university graduate who lost his mind after his girlfriend left him. Others have blogged about how they sought him out and tried to help him find work or to go back to his family, but that he appeared frightened and cried out without speaking.

The local government in Ningbo said it had a policy of looking after the homeless, and that it would extend the same treatment to Mr Sharp.

So, don't approach him for fashion tips. Seems logical. What I think is awful is that people are obviously trying to help him because they think he's cool/good-looking/stylish, etc, but what about the other people in the same situation who are just not quite so well put-together? It's reminiscent of foreigners picking up stray cats on the street and then not knowing what to do with them. I think it's better to do something at a higher level (that is, not make one person/animal your pet project, if you'll forgive the pun) - donate some time or money to a reputable charity or government organisation.

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Twhy?

2010-03-03T13:17:00.001+08:00

So, I have been kind of against the whole idea of Twitter for a long time now, but I have admitted to myself that it's likely because it's another one of those ideas with a lot of potential, but when put in the hands of the idiotic masses made me want to hide under the bed covers.

Recently I've been noticing more people who I would want to follow on Twitter posting on Twitter, so I thought I'd finally give it a go to see what it can do for me.

One big problem - Twitter is unavailable in China. Why did I pick this time and place to sign up? Probably mostly because I am the queen of bad timing. So, I have spent an hour or so using a shaky VPN service to sign up and connect with a few other services that I will be using to help me read/post (ping.fm, Posterous, Shozu on my phone, Google Reader). I know I won't be able to use the full capacity of the service, but it will be interesting to see what can be done from within the GFW. Let's call it another experiment.

Of course, I have still yet to solve the issue that neither of my blogs (and now this Twitter account) are available in China, where I think people would be the most interested in what I have to say. Hmm.

Anyway, follow me, I guess! @bananaundercovr

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Oh, you're welcome, China!

2010-02-23T15:09:00.001+08:00

This was on the bottom of my income tax receipt. I feel like such a valuable part of the collective!

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Older and older

2010-02-22T11:58:00.001+08:00

When I was growing up, I skipped a year of primary school (through pure genius, obviously), and so was always the youngest one of my friends. As I get nearer to the age of 30 (I can't believe it, but I guess nobody ever can), I have started to become one of the older people in my workplace, and in some groups of friends. I can deal with this, of course, but what makes it a bit more difficult is that according to Chinese age reckoning, I'm now 31. That's right.

You may wonder how this works, and I will try to explain. In Chinese thinking, a person is 1 when they are born, not 0. Kind of makes sense, as you've been developing for the better part of a year by the time you emerge into the world. So, add a year to what you say your age is now, if you want to convert. As well as this, Chinese people don't 'age' on their birthdays. Nobody adds another year to their tally until Chinese New Year. And you can add another year now, since Chinese New Year was last week.

So how does this work out for me? Well, the year I was born, Chinese New Year was about a week after my birthday. That means that when I was a week old, I was two (Chinese) years old already. No wonder I was always smart for my age.

Additionally, had I been born a week or two later, I would now be a year younger. Go figure.

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More and more blocks

2010-02-21T12:34:00.001+08:00

I was just catching up on a friend's Twitter feed (read through Google Reader), and realised that I couldn't go to any of the bit.ly links at all. This is doubly frustrating because I don't know what the original URL is (I might, in fact, be able to view the site from here), and just...what the hell, China? I know that it's a common shortener for Twitterers (Tweeters?) and whatnot to use, but it doesn't mean everything they're linking to is offensive. It might be inane and time-wasting, but surely it should be up to me what I want to see? It appears that pictures hosted on Imageshack are also unavailable, which is just annoying. The main page loads, but the images don't. I just wanted to look at pictures of cute, tiny animals.

I found a good summary in comment form on Wired.com, which covers most of the depressing blockages:

Posted by: tvnewswatch | 01/11/10 | 2:19 am |

I can confirm that Wired is not currently blocked in Beijing [11/01/2010]. However, as stated the blocking of sites is in ‘constant flux’. You incorrectly state the BBC is blocked. Not quite true. BBC Chinese is blocked, but only a few pages from the English version are affected by the GFW. Wikipedia is also largely unaffected, tho of late pictures on the site are not showing. Google.com is accessible, though many Google services are blocked.

IMDb was blocked last Wednesday [9th January] but is not alone in its being inaccessible. It joins the ranks of dozens of other sites, many of them social networking platforms or web 2.0 sites. As of January this year many Google services still remain blocked. Blogger, YouTube, Picasa web, Google Health, Google Sites, Google Groups, Google’s Development site, Chromium.org, the Chrome Extensions site and even the Google Wave invite link are all inaccessible. Google Docs is only accessible via the insecure http mode [not https] and even then it is unstable with spreadsheets blocked and direct access to folders and other functionality thwarted.

Social networking sites Facebook and Twitter are blocked and several other blogging platforms such as Typepad and Wordpress are also stymied by the censors. Sites that share content are also affected including Friendfeed, Tumblr, technorati, imageshack, Scribd, Dailymotion, Liveleak, Vimeo, Twitpic and Pirate Bay. Even some URL shorteners have been shut down including bit.y links. And in October last year the Python programming software download link was blocked.

For many expats, using the Internet is a particularly frustrating experience. Content shared by friends and family, as well as business colleagues outside China, is often unobtainable unless one is prepared to pay additional fees to foreign based VPN [Virtual Private Network] providers. Even then, some sites cannot be accessed.

Even where sites are not blocked they are often unstable. Google News is one such example. Links may not open the first time round and some links are preceded by a Google referrer which has to be deleted in order to open the required site. Many expats, still able to access Twitter via third party apps which bi-pass the Great Firewall, express their fear that the restrictions may go further and even block GMail, Skype and other communications’ tools. It’s all a guessing game, however, and the uncertainty is increasingly uncomfortable.

On the 'plus' side, after spending some time in Hong Kong without the GFW, I think I'm kind of over Facebook. The incessant babble, anyway. It's definitely fallen into the hands of the people who just don't really get it.

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There's literally nobody around

2010-02-21T12:18:00.001+08:00

Well, that's not strictly true. But, this morning, on the way to work*, there was hardly any traffic, and in the streets around me there were probably only about 15 people. I thought to myself "Wow, it's dead out here!" Of course, this is all comparative. If I were to think the same thing at home, there would literally be nobody else in sight. But that's the way things go in bustling Shanghai. I was just jealous of all the people who weren't on their way to work.

I just heard a huge boom outside, and I guess the fireworks haven't completely stopped yet. It's a week since the new Chinese year began, and it's been like a war zone every day since with huge fireworks and annoyingly-long strings of crackers going off at all hours of the day, night, and ridiculously early morning. Some clever and considerate people have been letting them go off in the driveway of my apartment complex, and they explode right about my window level. Would be interesting once or twice, but I was sick in bed for three days of the break and just wished they would shut the hell up. I'm glad I was in Hong Kong for the weekend of the new year, so I missed the real craziness.

*Don't get me started on having to work on a Sunday as part of a seven day week which we have to do in order to receive the 'seven' days off we got last week.
I didn't take any pictures this year, so the image is from the Beeb.

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Not the brightest bulb

2009-09-16T13:55:00.001+08:00

I moved desks on Monday (because I preferred to do it on Monday morning rather than on Friday night at 18:30 when everyone else started moving), and as it got darker, I realised that the light bulb above my new desk didn't work. I am one of those people who prefers to work in well-lit areas (not fluorescent lighting, but just bright enough to see everything I'm doing and not fall asleep), but for some reason people here don't bother turning the lights on until it's actually dark.

I would normally fix these sorts of things myself, but the light fixtures are quite high, and we seem to have someone to take care of these things. So, I sent a quick email to the receptionist (as she'd already gone home for the day) to see if she could get the bulb changed. I got this in reply:

Dear Starla,
I'm sorry, there's no extra light bulbs now, we will handle it as soon as possible.

This made very little sense to me, especially because our office takes up the whole floor of the building and we are using about half of the desks. The lights above those desks don't get used, so... switch out the bulbs, please?

After some further follow-up including a suggestion about unused-but-functional light bulbs, the receptionist had a guy from the tech department get up on my desk to fix the situation.

Unnecessary, but very China.

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But... it's a kitchen in China, is it not?

2009-09-11T11:59:00.001+08:00

Shanghai is a transient place in many ways. People come and go more often than you'd think, with short-term positions, internships, holidays, and the recent financial woes of the world. So it's not uncommon to have to say goodbye to friends as they move away, and mentally prepare to do the inevitable making new friends later.

The last couple of nights have been dedicated to saying goodbye to a friend who is moving to Taiwan (one of the major reasons he's leaving is actually the state of the internet here, which is tragic for us in many ways), as well as some "bonus" money that I received (but more on that later). He kindly offered up anything in his kitchen that we wanted to take away.

I was mentally going through things I might need, when I suddenly said... "Wait, do you have a rice cooker?"

This was met on all sides by horrified exclamations of "You don't have a rice cooker?!" "What kind of Asian are you?!" (Okay, that second one might be something I would have said had I been the exclaimer.)

And, it's true. We've never had one in my apartment, mostly because my flatmates aren't Chinese and don't really cook rice (if they cook at all). It was a noticeable omission when I arrived, but, to be honest, I've been cooking pretty good rice on stovetops for so long now that I never got around to to investing in one (transient lifestyles don't really allow for carrying a rice cooker in your backpack - although it has been done).

So last night after dinner I went over to my friend's place, and came out with the culinary haul you see here. A rice cooker! A set of steamers! A freakin' spatula! I didn't even need a blender, but this one is an upgrade. Sweet. I will miss my friend, but I always appreciate free stuff. Especially small appliances.

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Even worse than seeing this on a Friday night...

2009-09-05T13:06:00.001+08:00

...is seeing this on a Saturday morning.

- Taken at 9:59 AM on September 05, 2009 - uploaded by ShoZu

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Falafel, but not as I know it.

2009-09-05T13:05:00.001+08:00

Chick pea cookies? The vege plate at Wagas has not fulfilled my falafel needs.

- Taken at 12:26 PM on September 05, 2009 - uploaded by ShoZu

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360-something days on...

2009-09-03T11:39:00.001+08:00

I had my one year anniversary at work on Tuesday (and hence one year and 2 days since I arrived in China), and it passed without note, except that I had a coincidental enforced day off. While it is nice to have a weekday off, I have to make this up on Saturday, with no opt-out or alternative way of working off a break that I had no choice about. Oh well. Nobody complained, either (I voiced my displeasure to HR, but they were overruled by the CEO). Thanks, Chinese mentality.

I don't really have much time for a self-reflection right now, but hopefully I will be able to manage something in the future. All I know is that this is the longest I've ever stayed in a full-time job (it was already the only permanent position I have ever taken), so that's somewhat of an achievement.

It took me a good 6 months to feel like I'd settled in here, develop a few worthwhile friendships, and get to know the city. Some of the friends have moved on, but I am still enjoying the city. I've been lucky to have friends visit me here, and hope more will do so in the near future. I've met some great people here, too, sometimes in unexpected places. I have an apartment that I love, and great flatmates (although that wasn't always the case). That situation may be changing, but, as always, I'll roll with it.

At the moment I feel like I have a fair amount going on, but that I'm not really achieving anything. I've always had a bit of a lack of motivation (slash direction), and at the moment that tiny amount is being stretched out towards disparate, often vague goals (although reading about the Mosaic approach yesterday makes me feel a little more positive about it!). My Chinese has improved somewhat, despite me not paying much attention to it. Despite (or including) all the distractions, there are a couple of things in my life that make me really happy, and I can't really complain too much about the other stuff. It's all balanced out by positives and side benefits.

An upcoming trip home is also distracting me, and I can't wait to catch up with friends and eat a bunch of things that I can't get here. I will probably come back to China with a lactose intolerancy from the copious amounts of dairy I am likely to consume. Hopefully it will be balanced out by the meats and seafoods. I haven't been out of Asia for over two years, so I hope that there's no reverse culture shock. I may be able to ask for exactly what I want, and then receive it. Amazing. Perhaps I'll experience some kind of overload because I'll actually be able to understand everything that's on TV, in advertising, and in the conversations of strangers (although those strangers probably won't be standing quite so close to me as they would be on, say, any of the trains going through People's Square).

In light of a few recent developments, and of course the upcoming Expo 2010 (which probably nobody outside of China has even heard of), I'm feeling pretty positive about the next year. I hope it pans out even better than I envision it...

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Well this doesn't make me feel safer crossing the road...

2009-08-26T14:46:00.001+08:00

On the way to KTV in Fuxing Park the other night (slightly tipsy, but in a taxi), I noticed that there was a policeman giving a breathalyser test to a neighbouring motorist. In what looked like an extremely lazy roadblocking manoeuvre, the cops were walking down the queue of cars at the intersection of Chongqing Lu and Huaihai Lu, and seemed to only be stopping at cars with open windows. Way to save time there, guys.

Today I read the following on Shanghaiist, and it doesn't make me feel any better.

"Those who drive dare not to drink, those who drink dare not to drive" is a particularly apt and Chinese way to summarize the philosophy behind the recent crackdowns on drunk driving in Shanghai. Sina News recently published a Cops-esque article about dragnets set up at hotels around the city, which captured more than 1200 drunk drivers in just the last ten days. The drama included stakeouts of hotel parking lots, intersection checkpoints, and even searches for "sleeper cars" with drunk drivers trying to "sleep it off". Once caught, techniques of avoiding arrest in Shanghai range from the internationally popular "drink two bottles of mineral water" to the less palatable "wash your mouth out with soap". It seems the Shanghai police are serious about this campaign: they've even forced on-duty policemen to turn off their mobile phones to avoid "preferential treatment" of suspects. Amazing!

Source: Shanghaiist

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If we can't do it, how can "China"?

2009-08-26T12:43:00.001+08:00

I was sent a link to this article today, and while I enjoy a guilty giggle sometimes at hilarious mistranslations, I was left a bit flat by this article (below is the whole piece, so don't worry about clicking on the source link). First, is it news or comedy; what angle are you going for here, reporter? Secondly, Shanghai ≠ China, by anyone's measure; nice work, headline. Thirdly, if you can't make proper use of question marks (I'm talking to you, captioner), then you really shouldn't be working for any written publication, let alone the national newspaper of an English-speaking country.

On the plus side, today I found some pretty amusing mistranslations on thechive.com.

China tries to stamp out dodgy English

Can you do better than this sign photographed near Chongqing city, China. Photo / supplied

The Chinese city of Shanghai has started a campaign to stamp out indecipherable English.

Long a source of amusement to travellers, local authorities now deem signs in odd English an embarrassment, according to the BBC.

Student volunteers have been assigned to check signs all over the city and to let bureaucrats know when they spot something confusing or just plain wrong.

Examples found by the London Telegraph include transport signs saying: "If you take the phone on your waistband, as if to send money to the thief" and "If you are stolen, call the police at once".

Another example posted by a blogger for a promotional sign in the Jing-An area of the city states: "Jing-An make us much warmer and fragranter."

Source: NZ Herald News

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Sending up a flare...

2009-08-22T02:06:00.000+08:00

At the time that I started my blog in China, Blogger services were freely available, and I didn't really foresee that changing. However, I underestimated the long arm of the guy who pushes the buttons on the Great Firewall, and here I am with a blog that my ideal audience (i.e. possible sympathisers) can't actually view. Not the best of situations.

Periodically I also try new services. Not that often, as I am resistant to change, usually do my research before I jump ship, and hate when all my previous work is done away with if it's not compatible.

So, here I go, trying a recently-discovered email-to-blog system which will hopefully be new enough that China won't block it any time soon. I have to email most of my posts in these days anyway, so I'll just see how it goes.

There are a few restrictions that I am worried about, but I'm sure they'll iron themselves out in the end.

For the foreseeable future, though, I will be parallel-posting (is that a term?) in two different places: http://bananaundercover.blogspot.com, and http://bananaundercover.posterous.com. I have imported my previous posts already, and am looking forward to something new, shiny, easy, and visible.

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Things that make me laugh

2009-08-12T23:44:00.001+08:00

A sneaky retail ninja phone shot. Yes, it's an exfoliant called Bubble Magic Peeing.

For reference, they spelled 'peeling' correctly on the top and back of the box (not that that makes it less of a terrible product name), and my phone did not know the words 'ninja', 'exfoliant', or 'peeing'.

A glitch in the matrix?

2009-08-12T11:24:00.001+08:00

I've been ignoring YouTube links out of habit for months now, as knowing that I won't be able to see the content doesn't stop the disappointment when I get the standard time out or connection errors.

Today, because a friend of mine had been raving about this Japanese pianist, I decided to click on a link. Shock horror, it loaded something. It was the full page in very basic HTML, and I couldn't watch the video, but it was something. A few minutes, and more than a few F5s later, and I've got 'the connection has timed out' again. Damned Firewarr. Be consistent and stop giving me false hope!

Going Postal

2009-08-10T16:24:00.000+08:00

I've been putting off going to the post office for months, but the build-up of guilt and unsent gifts finally culminated in me spending a significant part of this weekend putting together four parcels to send to various patient friends and family members.

One of the reasons there's been such a delay is that I'm not the usual customer for a Chinese post office, and my transactions take much longer than they probably should. The staff are used to people bringing their postables [ok, not a word], and putting them into a government-sanctioned green China Post box, and sending them away. I like to spend some time on my packages, including careful addressing, gift-wrapping, and copious amounts of novelty tape (as you can see above). I also have to go through a certain amount of stilted Chinese and miming to explain the contents of each box. I usually get there in the end, and have yet to give in to the post office workers' demands to open the packages to see what's inside.

This time, knowing that there were a LOT of small and difficult-to-describe items contained in the boxes, I took the precaution of photographing the contents of each parcel. [Each of these boxes contains somewhere between three and nine individually-wrapped presents, as well as at least one letter or card.]

Already running late this morning, I decided that since I'd spent so much time on packing these things, and that it would be way busier at lunch time, I went to the post office before work. At the sight of my already-taped-up boxes, the staff there immediately started stressing out and asking me what was inside. I explained to the best of my poor ability, and showed them the photos on my trusty mobile phone. After a long discussion, including determining that, yes, they were going to four different places in the UK, apparently they still needed to see inside. This raised a slight panic in me, as I had forgotten to bring any back-up novelty tape, and I had no idea what they would do when they opened the boxes only to find dozens of smaller packages inside. They called an English-speaking co-worker over, and I explained the situation to her ("No! You can't see inside! You'll only get frustrated, and I might cry!" - paraphrased). I assured them there were no liquids in any of the boxes (or at least I think that's what I was assuring them of). They finally let it slide, probably because it was easier to just let me have my way.

Thankfully, there were no issues with any of the million forms I had to fill in, and after the nice man had mimed 飞机 (fēijī, or aeroplane, a word I actually know) and I had handed over what seemed like a lot of money for air mail, I finally got out of there, just in time to be even later for work. Success.

Things that are wrong with the world

2009-08-08T20:08:00.001+08:00

Things that are wrong with the world

2009-08-08T20:07:00.001+08:00

Every fruit has its day. Except for papaya, which is greedy.

2009-08-06T18:01:00.001+08:00

For reasons that are somewhat complicated, I just found out that Monday was National Watermelon Day (and by 'National', I mean 'American', but don't get me started on how annoying it is to find references to 'national' things on the internet with no mention of what nation they are relevant to). I think that at some point I should get a job with an organisation with a name and function as randomly specific and entertaining as the National Watermelon Promotion Board. They are still selling boatloads of watermelon in China right now, and I'm sure there are lots of local festivals for them, including this one in Beijing (sorry, the article is from 2008, but we'll have to wait until May/June 2010 for the next one anyway).

Some other odd fruit-related celebrations in the U.S. include, apparently, Eat a Red Apple Day (December 1st) [specific], Poisoned Blackberries Day (September 29th) [I don't know what you would do to celebrate this], and the International Banana Festival (September 21st). Grapefruits and peaches each get their own month (February and August, respectively), and according to this list, papaya gets two months (June and September). I don't even like papaya.

That weirdness led me to wondering if there was a National Mango Day celebrated anywhere, as it is the king of fruits and all. There is, by the way. In Mali. BBC photos and interesting back story here.

Not to be outdone, though, Rubicon announced a whole Mango Week in the UK (25th-31st May this year, so we'll have to wait until next year now). I'm not sure that something being promoted by a private company with vested interest is as valid as an acknowledged national day, but I don't think anyone can complain about a week of mango. Except this one guy I met who came from a place where they grow turpentine mangos. Apparently when ripe, these things smell (and taste) like a combination of, well, turpentine and mangos. He wasn't a fan.

As for me, I'm going to buy a mango on the way home. It will cost slightly more than 2.5 US cents (apparently a good price in Mali), but I think I'll deal with it.

Image: Elite Banana on my pillow.

A journey of self-discovery (or finding my own ways to get around the Great Firewall)

2009-08-04T11:31:00.001+08:00

[Not that anyone who is having troubles with it can read this blog, but never mind.]

Disclaimer: This post is in no way intended to be political. It merely outlines my personal discoveries resulting from frustration from being cut off from the outside world.

1. One little letter

I was doing my general post-arrival work things - checking my email, starting up WinAmp, glancing at Google Reader, etc - this morning, and was having a lot more trouble with Reader than I usually do. I've been getting used to not being able to see the feeds for the sites that are blocked by the Firewall (Blogger, WordPress, Facebook, etc) - though Reader used to be able to solve these problems - but today it was slow to load, kept booting me out, and every time I clicked on a feed, it would come up with the encouraging message:

Sorry, an unexpected condition has occurred which is preventing Google Reader from fulfilling the request.

Can I refer to China as an 'unexpected condition' now?

Anyway, a quick search for news about the status of Reader in China turned up this post at China Herald, which had a comment from Web Analytics in China, with a very tiny but apparently effective tip. Use 'https' instead of 'http' in the URL. According to the tipster, this works 6 out of 10 times for GMail and Google Reader. According to me, it works 1 out of 1 times, and lets me read the feeds that were blocked without that one little ess. That's right. I feel like I'm back in the world, without having to get around the blockades in an active way.

2. One little browser

Desperation kind of set in several weeks ago when I realised that maybe the blocks weren't temporary and wouldn't be lifted after certain major anniversaries. I was playing around on my Nokia N96, trying to get access to various websites and such. I had four browsers on it, that I was using in various capacities. My least favourite one being the crappy default one, and the others being Opera Mini, Opera, and the newly-released Skyfire. I actually had a preference for Opera at the time (and a 30 day trial of the full browser that I was trying to take advantage of), but because of lack of access to essential sites (mostly Facebook, if I must be honest), I gave Skyfire another go.

It became apparent that I was able to see everything that had been blocked, including full access to Facebook, Blogger, and even YouTube. How, you may ask? Well, it turns out that Skyfire has its own dedicated servers that process all the data and optimise it for mobile phone use, essentially providing a free VPN service just for using their browser (which could use a few tweaks, but generally works really well). So if your mobile phone can use it, download it now!

3. A couple of little web/mobile services

After I'd awkwardly managed to set things up through Facebook and Blogger on my mobile, I started using Ping.fm from my PCs, and Shozu from my mobile. Ping.fm can be used to update statuses, micro-blogs, and blogs for 40 different web services, including Twitter, Facebook, and WordPress, through web, IM, SMS, email, and a bunch of other inputs. It's fast, customisable, and very handy for anyone managing more than one or two different services. If you also sign up for Pinglater.fm, you can schedule future posts as well. Shozu provides a quick way to upload or email photos directly from a mobile phone, and can also update a number of social media sites (including Flickr, Blogger, Facebook), and can send status updates and blogs as well as captioned and titled photos. Shozu also keeps you up to date with a limited range of feeds from various sites (e.g. friends' photo uploads and status updates). For Blogger, I submit posts via email, but I've been doing that for a long time, so it doesn't seem like a new thing to me.

4. A few VPN/proxy services

These are my least favourite methods at the moment, mostly because the speed and quality of the internet available to me at home and work is extremely unreliable, and VPNs tend to slow it down even more. I've used a couple of random proxy sites (e.g. youtubeproxy.org, sneakme.net), which work as a quick access solution, but are unreliable and drive me crazy with annoying advertisements. I had the paid VPN service WiTopia recommended to me by a few people, so I thought I'd try it. So far it's been patchy, and some services I can use better without it on, so it's frustratingly gratifying at best. I'm coming up to the end of my trial month, and that might be the end of it for me. There are a few other services out there that I may try and report back on.

In summary
1. For RSS and Atom feeds to keep up with blogs and the like: Use https://www.google.com/reader/
2. For mobile browsing (for compatible mobile phones): Use Skyfire.
3. For quick status and blog updates using a variety of inputs, use Ping.fm for now, and Pinglater.fm for later.
4. For status, blog, and photo updates using your mobile phone, use Shozu.
5. For blogging, many services have an email-to-blog option where emails get posted directly to your blog. Disabling comment moderation is risky, but lets those comments get online when you can't moderate them directly.
6. For a reliable VPN service, I don't have a recommendation as yet. Please let me know if you have any!

Leaving town at rush hour

2009-07-21T18:34:00.001+08:00

I don't know when my requirements for a comfortable subway ride changed to 'as long as nobody is actually touching me', but there we go. Before I got on today I thought how nice it was that there weren't many people on this car, because there was a space about an arm's length wide before everyone climbed aboard. Luxury.

Anyway, I'm on my way to Hangzhou to see the eclipse tomorrow. Then south from there, and away from work for a while. Unsarcastic bliss! I just hope it doesn't storm as much as it's supposed to.

More balls and mucking around

2009-07-16T18:31:00.001+08:00

I really just want to see what happens if I attach MP3s to my emails. It's also kind of related to this post. I had to record this at work today, so you can just imagine me sitting in a recording booth giggling to myself.

Balls. Balls!

Thanks for rubbing it in, floor

2009-07-15T15:02:00.001+08:00

It's depressing to be at the office so late that the lift floor tells me it's Saturday.

Shanghainese crowd pays tribute to MJ

2009-07-14T15:02:00.002+08:00

I just read about this on Shanghaiist, and am so upset that I missed it. It is right near my apartment as well, and I was doing jack all on Sunday afternoon.

What looks like thousands of people gathered together at People's Square at 5pm to "complete MJ's unfinished dance" for 60 seconds. So much better than going to a creepy Australian funeral director to remember the King of Pop.

I doubt the video will embed properly, so check out this YouKu link to see video proof!

Balls! Balls!

2009-07-13T18:35:00.002+08:00

I just had to explain to a coworker why the following conversation may not be appropriate to teach to children, especially little boys. She didn't really get it, but I didn't want to push the issue.

Are these your balls?
Yes, these are my balls.

A friend suggested I ask her to do an image search for 'my balls', but I don't quite have ... the balls ... to do it.

It's slightly better than the training school I used to work for, where they had a fully animated ball who bounced along to a song that said "Balls! Balls!". True story.

In bloggy news, apparently attaching pictures to emails works now, so expect more, even though I can't format them easily yet. Picture care of Everybody Loves Free Stuff. Check out the salad plate!

We're number one!

2009-07-13T17:33:00.004+08:00

There's not enough room on the internet to fully discuss the existence of, and reasoning behind, the superiority, patriotism, narrow-mindedness, racial prejudice, and cultural ignorance of the Chinese people [yes, I know this is a generalised blanket statement about a race of people]. There are a lot of reasons for why the majority of Chinese people think the way they do, and I'm not in any way saying they are bad or mean people. I just fail to understand how they can blindly follow what they have been told their whole lives, even when presented with conflicting evidence. The only thing I can compare it with is religious faith.

Here are some examples of what I'm talking about (please bear in mind that China has made a ridiculously big deal about the swine flu pandemic, and has somehow convinced most of the locals that there are no threatening cases on the mainland):

At dinner with a couple of coworkers (one American, one Chinese), American co-worker (ACW) made a joke that the guy at the table next to us had swine flu, because he coughed. CCW said that it was impossible, because he was Chinese. She backed up her argument by saying that there were no cases of swine flu in Shanghai (totally false statement).

Problems with this: a) We had no proof he was Chinese. b) Even if he were Chinese, and there were no cases in Shanghai, there was no proof that he hadn't been out of the country, or been in contact with anyone who had recently been out of the country. c) It was a ridiculous statement.
A friend's date did not want to go to a restaurant with him after she found out they served Mexican food. She thought she might catch swine flu from the food.

Problems with this: Pretty obvious, even if you didn't know that the disease isn't foodborne. We are in Shanghai, not Mexico! The food did not get shipped from there.
While watching the men's Wimbledon final on TV, CCW said 'chocolate!' every time she saw a black person in the crowd. Apparently Chinese people call black people chocolate, and it's not meant as an insult. I'm not sure if she was joking when she started calling the white people 'milk'.

Problems with this: Fairly obvious in this super-PC world. I call myself a banana, but still. Not the same.
People around here seem to think that the definitions of 'sushi' and 'sandwich' are what you get at Family Mart, Kedi, or any number of other convenience stores. These things are highly processed, and involve far too much mayonnaise and pork fluff, and not much else. When you actually take a local to a place to get decent Japanese food or a high quality sandwich, they get confused and often don't like it. Locals seem to base whole ethnic cuisines on very limited, very low-quality food, and then decide to write off the entire culture. It's quite sad.

I could go on, but I actually just wanted to mention a blog post from Disgrasian. An American study has shown that, apparently, sharing a room with someone of a different ethnic background from you can make you less racist. Unless you are sharing with an Asian, which actually makes people more prejudiced. We're so good at racism!

Oh well, at least we make cute babies.

Heat and hassle

2009-07-09T14:48:00.001+08:00

The temperature is sitting around 36 or 37 degrees right now, and it's the least of my problems.

My company had widespread layoffs last week, due to supposed financial reasons. Though I am still comfortably employed, it has made me wonder about what I'm going to do in the future, and whether or not I will be staying in China much longer. We shall see. I don't think this adventure is over yet.

Last but definitely not least is that China blocked Facebook sometime on Tuesday. I know, I know, I shouldn't be so worried about these things, but considering that I've actually begun to get used to the fact that the list of websites I can't access is getting longer and longer*, I think it's telling that I am concerned about this. Of course, there's always the increased productivity flipside, but I did spend a good portion of my day yesterday ensuring (through a combination of proxy servers, ping.fm, and one of my mobile phone browsers) that I would in fact still be able to update my profile. I just won't be able to stalk other people nearly as easily.

*I can't even access this blog easily (I am currently changing settings via a proxy), and have to post my entries by email. I am not sure if the comment moderation settings have stuck, so my apologies if comments haven't been published. Feel free to repost them!

Melting...

2009-06-23T10:32:00.001+08:00

The temperatures are going up, and even though we're maxing out at about 33 Celsius right now, the humidity makes walking home like walking through a hot, low-hanging cloud. It's disgusting. I finally gave in and started using the AC at home last week. I put it off for as long as possible, because I knew I would do it all the time after I got used to it. And even though I walk for short periods between air-conditioned buildings and vehicles, I still feel fairly gross, and extra showers are a necessity.

Today I saw a couple of men get off the bus carrying foldable fans, which made me happy (I own two and like to carry at least one around with me).

I also saw a man walking around trying to sell binoculars. I'm sure he does a roaring trade.

20th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre

2009-06-04T11:56:00.002+08:00

Today marks 20 years since a peaceful protest turned into a slaughter
in Beijing.

Recently, China has blocked more sites from being accessed from within
the mainland, including a lot of MSN sites, Twitter, and the stuff
I've complained about before.

Yesterday, I arrived to work to find no internet available in the
office. I'd also left my phone at home, so was feeling weirdly cut off
from the world. Under the pretense of making sure my mum could call me
(she and my aunt are in town this week, which is great), I went home
to pick up my mobile. Not being able to check my email is scary.

The lack of internet continues today. I wonder if they've cut off
business service, or if I'm just being paranoid.

As I type this out on my phone so I can email it in to auto-post, I'd
just like for us to dwell on how much has changed in China in 20
years, and how much has sadly stayed the same.

Xiao Long Bao, tofu, and other important matters

2009-05-27T16:27:00.003+08:00

I went out for dinner with some friends the other night, to a restaurant that specialises in xiao long bao, traditional Shanghai steamed soup dumplings. They were fairly delicious, as were the other dishes we had alongside. The first plate of vegetarian noodles we ordered had beef hiding in it, but that was just a kitchen mix-up. In any case, I'm not a vegetarian. The sheer number of delicious forms of pork I would miss out on counted me out of the vege population years ago. I think it was the influence of Chinese food from a very young age.

One of the people at dinner had grown up in Hong Kong enjoying chou doufu (臭豆腐), which translates to 'stinky tofu' in English. It's a fermented tofu that has a particularly pungent…aroma, even though it looks like regular fried tofu. I'm familiar with the smell (I lived in Hong Kong for a while, where it's a popular street snack), but I never really wanted to try it. However, since it appeared on our table, I thought I'd give it a go. It wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would be, and I suppose the effect can be compared to the taste of the very strong-smelling cheeses. Not everyone likes those, either (although I do).

Not long after, I sent my dad a text message to tell him that not only did I buy a mahjong set and matching table (more on that later), but that I'd tried the good old stinky tofu. His reply? Even he hasn't tried chou doufu, and I am 'more Chinese than Dad now'. It makes me giggle, but at the time I had that sinking feeling you get when, fully-costumed, you realise that no, it's not actually a fancy-dress party.

On the topic of tofu, the son of a friend of a contact of my mother (one of those multi-step relationships that seems to occur quite often through my mother) has started writing Tofu Watch, a blog dedicated entirely (well, mostly) to the wonder that is bean curd. It has a catchy name, interesting subject matter, and the website design pleases me too. I can even look at it from China. Nice work so far, Brad.

An unsanctioned love letter to China

2009-05-26T23:35:00.001+08:00

Dear China,

Whilst I love you (I know this is never a good way to start a missive), I am getting quite tired of seeing great big blanks all over the internet. You may think that people don't notice that there are an awful lot of white spaces, response timeouts, and no network errors. Maybe you think Chinese people think the internet breaks down all the time, and with the speed that mine works at sometimes, I wouldn't blame you for making this assumption.

Sure, a lot of people think that what they're being shielded from is probably hidden from them for some reason, but I really don't think there's anything anti-establishment about wrecky cakes or lowercase L's. I can't well read these blogs without seeing the pictures that they're talking about. Now not only can I not see WordPress blogs, I can't see Blogger ones, either. I can't even read my own blog, or write in it from the main site. It makes me sad, China.

I was okay with not seeing YouTube, for the most part. A lot of the links I get I wouldn't want to watch anyway. But, in the midst of the swiney swiney pig flu, shouldn't people be able to see things like this? It would cheer them up, and really make them believe that there was no porcine danger.

When the weather starts to get hotter, do you think you could let us have some fluffy, harmless internet entertainment while the AC is running? I might even look at something educational.

I know that maybe we don't know each other well enough yet for me to use the c-word, but ... do you think you could ease up on the censorship a little bit? It was even kind of fun when it was sporadic. I never knew whether things would work or not. Now I've just given up trying. Just a little hope, is all I'm asking for.

Thanks, China.
Your adopted resident,
Starla

It happens everywhere in Asia

2009-04-10T14:32:00.001+08:00

I just got back from a trip to Seoul to visit a friend of mine.

Everyone expected me to speak Korean, even though I'm convinced they should've been able to tell I wasn't Korean from the comparatively little effort I put into dressing myself.

I again came up against the weird Asian language triangle when I was out with my caucasian friends. My friend speaks Korean to the Korean person. The Korean person answers in Korean, but answers me, not my friend. I make pointless apologies and look at my friend for help. They speak back to the Korean person.

Swap Chinese for Korean, and that's exactly the same thing that happens here. The locals don't think they're being rude, but they automatically speak to the familiar-looking face. I hope I don't subconsciously do that, but I can't think of a time when I've been in the reverse situation.

Maybe you mean 'Cork-Asian', like from Ireland?

2009-03-19T12:24:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I had the most bizarre conversation with the girl who sits next to me at work.

It started off with a discussion about whether or not I liked Chinese food, as apparently I seem to eat it quite regularly (not that she ever sees me eat). Of course I said I do, and that I grew up eating it, because my dad cooks Chinese food. This was met with surprise, but that's okay.

This segued into an explanation about how my dad is from Guangdong province, and yes, my mother is also Chinese (ethnically, not by birth country). This took my coworker completely by surprise, as apparently she had always thought I was caucasian. This, in turn, threw me for a bit of a loop. Apparently, now that she looked at me, she realised that, yes, I do have black hair, and yellow skin (her words), and not-blue eyes. All the tell-tale signs of not being white.

Not recognising my surname as Chinese I can forgive, because I use a Cantonese spelling, not a Mandarin one, and I know I don't have any trace of Chinese accent or mannerisms, but...I am confused. There was that time that someone thought I was Scottish, but they were American, and I'm sure they didn't think I was Scots Scottish.

Now, I really don't have a problem with white people. I love white people. I'm just not one, and I don't think I look like one. I can't count all the times I've told people I don't speak the language, and been met with "but you look like a Chinese!"

I think I need to conduct a poll.

Bus blooper

2009-03-18T10:35:00.001+08:00

It's not often that I get a seat on the bus, and it's rarer that I'm not running that slight bit late for work, so I was surprised to find the bus half-empty yesterday. Obviously I took a seat. There are only a couple of stops between my apartment and my office, but hey. Nobody else was getting off at my stop, and nobody was getting on. It took me far too long to realise that the conductor (there's always a conductor as well as a driver) was probably asking if anyone wanted to get off. We were driving past the stop as I stood up, and I'm fairly sure I got tut-tutted as I disembarked.

At least I didn't have to resort to random waving and shouting, or profuse apologising. Dodged a bullet there.

On the way to work today...

2009-03-12T12:57:00.001+08:00

...it was raining pretty steadily. I saw a little old lady wearing a grey beanie (or toque, for Canadians) with a see-through plastic shower cap over the top. It was kind of wonderful.

Not so wonderful was the fact that I was already late for work when I ordered my coffee at the bakery, and they took absolutely forever to make it. Some white girl kicked up a fuss, and they gave her what should have been MY coffee, and then I had to wait even longer. People were faffing around behind the counter, not making espresso and not frothing my milk. In the end, I brattily made them give me an extra shot of espresso, thinking all the while that it probably wouldn't do much to help my mood.

Thank goodness for old ladies in makeshift rain gear.

Mmm, pudding

2009-02-18T22:09:00.001+08:00

I just found out (through a funny exchange at the milk tea shop) that the word for 'pudding' in Chinese is bù dīng (布丁), which is excellent, as now I can order both pudding milk tea, and mango pudding. Things are on the up and up.

Yang' sfry dumplings

2009-02-18T21:54:00.001+08:00

I am at YANG' SFRY DUMPLINGS (exactly how it's punctuated on all their signs and on their chopstick wrappers). This place is always always busy (the setup on the food stall street always has a huge queue), but isn't now as I guess am taking lunch at an unpopular time. I just ordered some soup and dumplings, when I meant to order a different soup and dumplings. The woman suggested a beef noodle soup which I hadn't even seen on the menu, which sounded nice. So, why not eh?

On the way to work today, I saw an elderly couple travelling by bicycle. Not unusual, especially in Asia, but the man was pushing the bike, and the woman was sitting on the back of it (not on the seat), leaning backwards, and using her cane to both stabilise and help push. It was funny, and oddly cute.

I just had a hilarious interchange with the waitress and the cashier. I got my soup, no problem, and then they gave me my plate of four dumplings. Cool. Then apparently there was some mix up with a takeaway order, so they took my plate away. Then they gave me another plate with 8 dumplings on it (two orders of 4). I tried to tell them that I'd only ordered 4, and then they brought back someone else's receipt which had two orders on it. I said it wasn't mine (was I being foolishly honest here?), and stumblingly tried to explain the situation. Eventually the cashier got involved, and then they took away the 8, and brought back 4. They are good enough that they were worth the wait. The soup is good, too.

I'd almost forgotten how to eat these dumplings. The least messy and least scaldy way I've worked out to eat them is by biting/squeezing a small hole in the outside, and sucking the juice out before eating the rest of the dumpling. Otherwise, burning and messiness ensues. I suppose I could've taken a photo so you could see, but suffice to say that they contain some hot juices inside. Oh, here, they look like this.

Things I can't get at my local supermarket:

2009-02-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

brown sugar
tinfoil (alumin(i)um foil)
baking paper
paper towels
can opener
sponges (for cleaning)
fish sauce (although there's a possibility that I can't read the fish sauce bottle).

I have made trips especially for almost all of these items, only to stand around in what I think are the appropriate aisles and not be able to find what I want.

We currently need (subjective) all of these things, except for the brown sugar, which I found at the other market on the same street. Couldn't find any of the other things, though.

On the way to work today...

2009-02-16T10:21:00.001+08:00

...I saw a man twirling two giant golden balls in his hand as he walked down the street.*

*I'm really busy at the moment but I'm going to try to add something here much more frequently, even if it's just a reminder to myself about how weirdly wonderful China is sometimes.

Ouch

2009-01-20T20:45:00.001+08:00

I burnt my tongue on the soup from a soup dumpling today.

I then tried to read our table's food docket (which was all in Chinese), and I must've had a combination pained/puzzled look on my face, because my friend asked me if everything was okay.

"Oh yeah, I'm just trying to read this thingy..."

Curse you, delicious soup dumpling.

It's probably better that I don't know

2009-01-15T21:36:00.001+08:00

I don't know what one of the components of my dinner was tonight. I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing.

I went to a nearby little restaurant that I haven't tried before. I ordered takeaway beef on rice with green veges. Fairly safe, I hoped.

Unfortunately, they were all out, so I had to make another choice. I had a look at the pictures, and nothing else really looked appetizing (or recognisable). The guy suggested the last picture, which looked kind of like pork ribs, although I didn't recognise any of the characters in the name (there wasn't even the one for meat!). So I hope it was some fancy name for something that I'm happy eating, because it was more expensive than the beef.

In any case, it was pretty average. The soup was fine and so were the rice and veges. The meat was ribby, and a little gristly.

I still ate most of it.

I'm really not that picky, especially when I make an effort not to think about the possibilities.

Mmm. Medicine I can't read.

2009-01-09T10:31:00.003+08:00

One of my new coworkers has been sick since he started, and, bless him, he's concerned about my wellbeing. I have blamed being really tired for being late to work the last three days (it's a six-day week, and I stay late, dammit), and yesterday he gave me a packet of some kind of medicine to take. He didn't want me to pick anything up from him, which is lovely.

This morning I did wake up feeling sketchy, so upon arrival at work (slightly late), I decided to give the magic packet of something a go. I poured it out into a glass, and it looked kind of like Bisto (the granules, not the powder). I've also had ginseng tea that came in the same sort of form. I added some hot water, and it still looks like Bisto. It smells and tastes like liquid Ryvita, though, which is really weird. Not entirely unpleasant, but I'm going to let it cool down a little before I chug the lot. Let's hope it doesn't make me feel worse.

Small Change

2009-01-05T18:00:00.002+08:00

I have an unnecessary number of small bills in my wallet at the moment because during several of my last cash transactions I haven't understood the cashier, so just handed over a hundred RMB note to be safe. They seem to like giving me my large amounts of change in 5RMB notes, too. I really need to learn the special word for 20 (used only when talking about money). It took me a long time to come to grips with it in Cantonese (and I've since forgotten what it is), and now I have to learn another one. Boo.

Introductions and new beginnings

2009-01-03T22:19:00.000+08:00

I've been meaning to start this blog for a few months, since just before I arrived in China. I fully intended to document the experience of being a Chinese foreigner in China, lacking the ability to speak or read the language, but looking for all intents and purposes like I can. As it is, I have been either too lazy or too busy to do it, and nearly four months have flown by in the meantime.

I've never written under a pseudonym before, but for whatever reason I decided to do it here. Partially I don't want my current or future employers, or people I don't really know, to read it, but that's mostly because I intend to express a lot of the emotions I'm really experiencing, which I have no doubt will leave me feeling somewhat exposed, which I'm not entirely comfortable with. So for reasons that I'll probably explain later, I'll be writing as Starla May Chan.

My family is originally from Guangdong province in China, but my siblings and I were born and raised in an English-speaking country, with not that many other Chinese around (at the time). I am third generation on my mother's side, and find I use that as an excuse for not speaking Chinese much more than I probably should. In any case, even if we did speak Chinese, we would've been raised speaking Cantonese, not Mandarin, which wouldn't do me much good here in Shanghai.

In any case, I just wanted to say hi to the world. I hope now that it's a brand new year, I will be making regular contributions here. Here's hoping.

Nice to have you here, and have a happy 2009!