We don't have the technology

Last week: I ordered a new Chinese textbook from a website that my Chinese teacher recommended (dangdang.cn if anyone's interested). 

Today: A smaller than expected box arrives. I think: it's OK, I have somehow managed to buy CDs instead of a book, I'm a bit of an idiot, but at least I can listen to the CDs. I open the box, and I have sets of TAPES. CASSETTE TAPES. Sadly, I left my Walkman back in the '90s, so I have no way at all to listen to them. I can't be bothered to send them back because they were very cheap (suspiciously so, looking back). I couldn't find the exact book that they support, but I ordered a different one. Hopefully it will be OK, and an actual book. 

Tomorrow: Explain to my Chinese teacher how I'm an idiot.

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How foreigners experience Spring Festival in China

Hilarious, and also true. Only one more day of the official festival to go! Happy Year of the Rabbit.

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Can working in Pudong actually be good for me?

So a lot has happened since I last wrote something, including my office moving to the far reaches of Pudong, which is way way further away from my apartment at People's Square. As a result of this, I also had to abandon Chinese classes because my teacher lives in Zhongshan Park. Surely she could have endured the extra 10 stops on the subway to get to my new office?

These things, plus the heat and a holiday in Europe meant that I got pretty lazy in terms of Chinese learning and trying to be healthy (too hot to walk anywhere, lots of using MealBay).

For a few other reasons, I'm trying to get into some more healthy habits, including staying on top of my blogs (now numbering four), being more proactive in my social life, studying again, eating a bit better, and exercising a bit more. Other hobbies will hopefully get picked up again later. My phone is back up and running too (it broke down on holiday and needed a new screen), so that gives me mobile internet and photo uploading, and I am trying to get into the habit of noting down things I want to write about later.  

The new office in the middle of nowhere actually helps with a couple of these. I need to wake up earlier, walk a bit further, and can spend about an hour in transit listening to language and science podcasts, flicking through flashcards, or drafting blog posts like I'm doing now (or watching episodes of Battlestar Galactica). There is a severe lack of eateries at the new locale too, so I have to plan meals, which are generally healthier than the offerings at the cafeteria.

Anyway, none of this is really that interesting, but hopefully it will lead to some positive stuff for me, and some more interesting posts for you!

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Chinese 'holidays' strike again

I've just checked out what holidays I'm going to get in September and October, because I know that mid-autumn festival and National Day will be around that time.  Mid-autumn festival gives us a bonus 1 day off (or 3 days, as they call it), and National Day is really only 3 days off (even though they call it 7).  Here are the dates:

Mid-autumn festival 22nd-24th September (Wednesday-Friday)

National Day holiday 1st-7th October (Friday-Thursday)

We have to work some Saturdays and Sundays around these days to qualify for the super duper time off, so it goes like this:

Work a normal week.

One day weekend.

Three days on.

Three days off.

Six days on.

Seven days off.

Two days on.

One day weekend.

Work a normal week.

What the hell?  That's pretty much a month's worth of screwed up work weeks, and I really don't think that tradition should have this much effect on productivity.  Also, my dad is coming to visit in September, so now I have to find some time where it won't be completely mad because of holidays, but when I can still get time off to see him.  I was also hoping to go away for a long weekend, but I doubt that's going to happen.  Argh.

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Getting more...exposed...to China

I know I haven't updated in forever, and a bunch of little reasons add up to no real excuses.  I am still in China, though, and my Chinese is improving, and I've managed to get out of here to go back to Europe for a definitely needed summer holiday (which doesn't stop me from wanting another one!).

My office has moved out to the far reaches of Pudong, which kills me as I live in Puxi and our old office was walking distance from my apartment.  We only moved in this week, so there are still rooms being finished, and we apparently had to drag our internet out from Puxi, which apparently makes it even slower than normal.  I have been assured that we are getting fibre installed soon, and it can't come quickly enough.  In the meantime, the internet is down, and I'm using the lull to tell the world about a fairly traumatic experience I had a couple of nights ago.

I had gotten out of the office pretty late, so by the time I got back to Puxi it was well after dark.  I decided to take a shortcut home down an alleyway behind my apartment block.  It's only a few minutes' walk away from People's Square, so quite central, but poorly lit.  I've never had a problem walking down there before, so I didn't anticipate any trouble that night.  So I'm walking along, and I see a little white light shining ahead, maybe from a pen light.  As I get closer, I can see that there's a middle-aged Chinese guy sitting on a scooter.  He redirects the light so I have no doubt that what he has in his hand is...his penis.  I had no idea what to do at this point, and fervently hoped that what was coming out of it was just urine (I can't believe I actually /wanted/ to see someone pissing in the street right in front of me.  This all happened in the space of a few seconds and a few steps, so that by the time he evacuated his family jewels all over the concrete, I was pretty much standing right in front of him.  I actually had to stop walking in order to not get anything on me.  I had a serious WTF expression on my face for a couple of seconds, studiously not looking down or making eye contact, until he calmly motioned for me to keep walking.  

I felt like I should have screamed something at him, but as well as being completely shell-shocked, I figured he probably wanted such attention in the first place.  

This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me, and I wish it hadn't been right around the corner from where I live.  I didn't feel unsafe, but I did feel fairly unclean afterwards, so I don't think I'll be taking that shortcut after hours again.

Why are people such freaks?

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Visual representation of what China censors online

I was just linked to this image by a friend.  The original is from Information is Beautiful, which is currently available here.  I figure since this blog is blocked anyway, it won't really matter what I write here.

In other news, the spring weather has been teasingly sporadic, there has been tension at work over a possibly pregnancy-related dismissal (ah, I knew there was a reason I didn't put my real name on this blog), and I have been getting annoyed at random obnoxious Americans I seem to be exposed to in public (one of whom used the term 'man sex' repeatedly, loudly, and in a derogatory way in a tiny cafe where he probably assumed nobody could understand him).  Thank goodness for headphones, free wi-fi, 90 minute massages for the price of 60 minutes, and mangos.

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I didn't think street food meant food off the actual street...

I really don't know if I should thank my friend for posting this on Buzz or not.  Apparently every Chinese person in China is likely to have, at some point, consumed cooking oil that was recycled from drains and gutters.  Thankfully I had already eaten my 生煎包* (Shanghai fried soup dumplings) before I read this article.

MORE than 3 million tons of filthy and toxic cooking oil extracted from gutters and drains may end up back in domestic and restaurant kitchens each year.

China's top food safety watchdogs have organized nationwide swoops to stop the illegal recycling practice.

The Food and Drug Administration has ordered the setting up of strict regulations to stop the production of so-called swill oil.

Offenders found in the swoops face severe penalties.

The swill oil business was so rampant in Chinese cities that some people made a full-time living from it, according to He Dongping, head of China's oil standardization committee and a food science professor in Wuhan.

He told Chongqing Evening News yesterday these people could make more than 10,000 yuan (US$1,465) every month from excavating oil from gutters and drains.

An estimated 3 million tons of swill oil was unknowingly consumed by Chinese people every year, He said.

Red, cream-like residue from drains and gutters is collected and boiled until a layer of clear oil surfaces.

This is sold to roadside restaurants and other outlets and He believes every Chinese at some stage has probably consumed swill oil.

He said swill oil could be highly poisonous, stunt children's growth and cause liver and kidney problems.

Plus, a chemical that is abundant in swill oil is a known carcinogen.

The problem baffling scientists and food safety authorities is there is no effective method for consumers to distinguish between swill oil and normal cooking oil.

He suggested recycling all waste food oil into biodiesel.

Source: Shanghai Daily.

*Google Translate said that these characters meant 'Shengjian Package', so I did a quick search to confirm I had the right ones.  Google Image search turned up a lot of delicious-looking 生煎包. Oh, Google, please don't leave China.

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Did I forget to mention how I feel about the smoking ban in Shanghai?

Because I'm totally stoked about it.  I didn't actually find out until after it came into effect (at the beginning of the month), but I'm so happy that smoking is now banned in most public places (and if people are allowed to smoke, they need to have a dedicated smoking area).  The widespread smoking here has always been a bit of an issue for me (mostly when you're trying to eat and some dickhead at the next table is blowing smoke in your face), although I tried not to complain about it too much because, well, western countries still haven't all come into line about it (apparently you're still allowed to smoke in bars in Wisconsin?).  But, now that there are rules (although who knows how often they will be enforced), I am really happy about it.  I hope it means that next time I go to the hospital, the doctor won't be finishing off a cigarette like he was the first time I had to go.

Other things to be happy about are perfect Sunday eggs at Mesa (thanks for the recommendation, Wo Ai), tasty tea and free wi-fi at Citizen, old school Bon Jovi, and Thai mangos waiting for me when I get home. 

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Derelicte: Homeless man in China becomes an Internet fashion icon

A homeless man in Ningbo has drawn international attention as a fashion icon, with articles going out about him in Asian publications as well as The Independent and the fashion section of New York magazine. 

I'm not sure if I would call him 'starkly handsome' or compare him to Takeshi Kaneshiro, but I'm pretty sure I agree with what was said at the bottom of the Independent article:

His identity remains a secret, and social workers in Ningbo say they want to keep it that way. "Homeless people are vulnerable. It is incorrect to use them for entertainment purposes," said one worker at a homeless centre in Ningbo. Brother Sharp is said to appear mentally disturbed when approached on the street.

In China, begging is technically illegal, as the Communist Party-run state provides all a citizen could need. In reality, the rapid development of the Chinese economy in the last 30 years has marginalised many.

The rumours surrounding Brother Sharp's true identity persist. Some say he is a university graduate who lost his mind after his girlfriend left him. Others have blogged about how they sought him out and tried to help him find work or to go back to his family, but that he appeared frightened and cried out without speaking.

The local government in Ningbo said it had a policy of looking after the homeless, and that it would extend the same treatment to Mr Sharp.

So, don't approach him for fashion tips.  Seems logical.  What I think is awful is that people are obviously trying to help him because they think he's cool/good-looking/stylish, etc, but what about the other people in the same situation who are just not quite so well put-together?  It's reminiscent of foreigners picking up stray cats on the street and then not knowing what to do with them.  I think it's better to do something at a higher level (that is, not make one person/animal your pet project, if you'll forgive the pun) - donate some time or money to a reputable charity or government organisation.

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Twhy?

So, I have been kind of against the whole idea of Twitter for a long time now, but I have admitted to myself that it's likely because it's another one of those ideas with a lot of potential, but when put in the hands of the idiotic masses made me want to hide under the bed covers. 

Recently I've been noticing more people who I would want to follow on Twitter posting on Twitter, so I thought I'd finally give it a go to see what it can do for me. 

One big problem - Twitter is unavailable in China.  Why did I pick this time and place to sign up?  Probably mostly because I am the queen of bad timing.  So, I have spent an hour or so using a shaky VPN service to sign up and connect with a few other services that I will be using to help me read/post (ping.fm, Posterous, Shozu on my phone, Google Reader).  I know I won't be able to use the full capacity of the service, but it will be interesting to see what can be done from within the GFW. Let's call it another experiment.

Of course, I have still yet to solve the issue that neither of my blogs (and now this Twitter account) are available in China, where I think people would be the most interested in what I have to say.  Hmm.

Anyway, follow me, I guess!  @bananaundercovr

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Oh, you're welcome, China!

This was on the bottom of my income tax receipt.  I feel like such a valuable part of the collective!

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Older and older

When I was growing up, I skipped a year of primary school (through pure genius, obviously), and so was always the youngest one of my friends.  As I get nearer to the age of 30 (I can't believe it, but I guess nobody ever can), I have started to become one of the older people in my workplace, and in some groups of friends.  I can deal with this, of course, but what makes it a bit more difficult is that according to Chinese age reckoning, I'm now 31.  That's right. 

You may wonder how this works, and I will try to explain.  In Chinese thinking, a person is 1 when they are born, not 0.  Kind of makes sense, as you've been developing for the better part of a year by the time you emerge into the world.  So, add a year to what you say your age is now, if you want to convert.  As well as this, Chinese people don't 'age' on their birthdays.  Nobody adds another year to their tally until Chinese New Year.  And you can add another year now, since Chinese New Year was last week.

So how does this work out for me?  Well, the year I was born, Chinese New Year was about a week after my birthday.  That means that when I was a week old, I was two (Chinese) years old already.  No wonder I was always smart for my age. 

Additionally, had I been born a week or two later, I would now be a year younger.  Go figure.

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More and more blocks

I was just catching up on a friend's Twitter feed (read through Google Reader), and realised that I couldn't go to any of the bit.ly links at all.  This is doubly frustrating because I don't know what the original URL is (I might, in fact, be able to view the site from here), and just...what the hell, China?  I know that it's a common shortener for Twitterers (Tweeters?) and whatnot to use, but it doesn't mean everything they're linking to is offensive.  It might be inane and time-wasting, but surely it should be up to me what I want to see?  It appears that pictures hosted on Imageshack are also unavailable, which is just annoying.  The main page loads, but the images don't.  I just wanted to look at pictures of cute, tiny animals.

I found a good summary in comment form on Wired.com, which covers most of the depressing blockages:

Posted by: tvnewswatch | 01/11/10 | 2:19 am |

I can confirm that Wired is not currently blocked in Beijing [11/01/2010]. However, as stated the blocking of sites is in ‘constant flux’. You incorrectly state the BBC is blocked. Not quite true. BBC Chinese is blocked, but only a few pages from the English version are affected by the GFW. Wikipedia is also largely unaffected, tho of late pictures on the site are not showing. Google.com is accessible, though many Google services are blocked.

IMDb was blocked last Wednesday [9th January] but is not alone in its being inaccessible. It joins the ranks of dozens of other sites, many of them social networking platforms or web 2.0 sites. As of January this year many Google services still remain blocked. Blogger, YouTube, Picasa web, Google Health, Google Sites, Google Groups, Google’s Development site, Chromium.org, the Chrome Extensions site and even the Google Wave invite link are all inaccessible. Google Docs is only accessible via the insecure http mode [not https] and even then it is unstable with spreadsheets blocked and direct access to folders and other functionality thwarted.

Social networking sites Facebook and Twitter are blocked and several other blogging platforms such as Typepad and Wordpress are also stymied by the censors. Sites that share content are also affected including Friendfeed, Tumblr, technorati, imageshack, Scribd, Dailymotion, Liveleak, Vimeo, Twitpic and Pirate Bay. Even some URL shorteners have been shut down including bit.y links. And in October last year the Python programming software download link was blocked.

For many expats, using the Internet is a particularly frustrating experience. Content shared by friends and family, as well as business colleagues outside China, is often unobtainable unless one is prepared to pay additional fees to foreign based VPN [Virtual Private Network] providers. Even then, some sites cannot be accessed.

Even where sites are not blocked they are often unstable. Google News is one such example. Links may not open the first time round and some links are preceded by a Google referrer which has to be deleted in order to open the required site. Many expats, still able to access Twitter via third party apps which bi-pass the Great Firewall, express their fear that the restrictions may go further and even block GMail, Skype and other communications’ tools. It’s all a guessing game, however, and the uncertainty is increasingly uncomfortable.

On the 'plus' side, after spending some time in Hong Kong without the GFW, I think I'm kind of over Facebook.  The incessant babble, anyway.  It's definitely fallen into the hands of the people who just don't really get it.

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There's literally nobody around

Well, that's not strictly true.  But, this morning, on the way to work*, there was hardly any traffic, and in the streets around me there were probably only about 15 people.  I thought to myself "Wow, it's dead out here!"  Of course, this is all comparative.  If I were to think the same thing at home, there would literally be nobody else in sight.  But that's the way things go in bustling Shanghai.  I was just jealous of all the people who weren't on their way to work.

I just heard a huge boom outside, and I guess the fireworks haven't completely stopped yet.  It's a week since the new Chinese year began, and it's been like a war zone every day since with huge fireworks and annoyingly-long strings of crackers going off at all hours of the day, night, and ridiculously early morning.  Some clever and considerate people have been letting them go off in the driveway of my apartment complex, and they explode right about my window level.  Would be interesting once or twice, but I was sick in bed for three days of the break and just wished they would shut the hell up.  I'm glad I was in Hong Kong for the weekend of the new year, so I missed the real craziness. 

*Don't get me started on having to work on a Sunday as part of a seven day week which we have to do in order to receive the 'seven' days off we got last week.
I didn't take any pictures this year, so the image is from the Beeb.

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Not the brightest bulb

I moved desks on Monday (because I preferred to do it on Monday morning rather than on Friday night at 18:30 when everyone else started moving), and as it got darker, I realised that the light bulb above my new desk didn't work.  I am one of those people who prefers to work in well-lit areas (not fluorescent lighting, but just bright enough to see everything I'm doing and not fall asleep), but for some reason people here don't bother turning the lights on until it's actually dark.

I would normally fix these sorts of things myself, but the light fixtures are quite high, and we seem to have someone to take care of these things.  So, I sent a quick email to the receptionist (as she'd already gone home for the day) to see if she could get the bulb changed.  I got this in reply:

Dear Starla,

I'm sorry, there's no extra light bulbs now, we will handle it as soon as possible.

This made very little sense to me, especially because our office takes up the whole floor of the building and we are using about half of the desks.  The lights above those desks don't get used, so... switch out the bulbs, please? 

After some further follow-up including a suggestion about unused-but-functional light bulbs, the receptionist had a guy from the tech department get up on my desk to fix the situation.

Unnecessary, but very China.

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But... it's a kitchen in China, is it not?

Shanghai is a transient place in many ways.  People come and go more often than you'd think, with short-term positions, internships, holidays, and the recent financial woes of the world.  So it's not uncommon to have to say goodbye to friends as they move away, and mentally prepare to do the inevitable making new friends later.

The last couple of nights have been dedicated to saying goodbye to a friend who is moving to Taiwan (one of the major reasons he's leaving is actually the state of the internet here, which is tragic for us in many ways), as well as some "bonus" money that I received (but more on that later).  He kindly offered up anything in his kitchen that we wanted to take away. 

I was mentally going through things I might need, when I suddenly said... "Wait, do you have a rice cooker?"

This was met on all sides by horrified exclamations of "You don't have a rice cooker?!"  "What kind of Asian are you?!" (Okay, that second one might be something I would have said had I been the exclaimer.)

And, it's true.  We've never had one in my apartment, mostly because my flatmates aren't Chinese and don't really cook rice (if they cook at all).  It was a noticeable omission when I arrived, but, to be honest, I've been cooking pretty good rice on stovetops for so long now that I never got around to to investing in one (transient lifestyles don't really allow for carrying a rice cooker in your backpack - although it has been done).

So last night after dinner I went over to my friend's place, and came out with the culinary haul you see here.  A rice cooker!  A set of steamers!  A freakin' spatula!  I didn't even need a blender, but this one is an upgrade.  Sweet.  I will miss my friend, but I always appreciate free stuff.  Especially small appliances.

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Even worse than seeing this on a Friday night...

...is seeing this on a Saturday morning.
 
 - Taken at 9:59 AM on September 05, 2009 - uploaded by ShoZu

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Falafel, but not as I know it.

Chick pea cookies? The vege plate at Wagas has not fulfilled my falafel needs.
 
 - Taken at 12:26 PM on September 05, 2009 - uploaded by ShoZu

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360-something days on...

I had my one year anniversary at work on Tuesday (and hence one year and 2 days since I arrived in China), and it passed without note, except that I had a coincidental enforced day off.  While it is nice to have a weekday off, I have to make this up on Saturday, with no opt-out or alternative way of working off a break that I had no choice about.  Oh well.  Nobody complained, either (I voiced my displeasure to HR, but they were overruled by the CEO).  Thanks, Chinese mentality.

I don't really have much time for a self-reflection right now, but hopefully I will be able to manage something in the future.  All I know is that this is the longest I've ever stayed in a full-time job (it was already the only permanent position I have ever taken), so that's somewhat of an achievement. 

It took me a good 6 months to feel like I'd settled in here, develop a few worthwhile friendships, and get to know the city.  Some of the friends have moved on, but I am still enjoying the city.  I've been lucky to have friends visit me here, and hope more will do so in the near future.  I've met some great people here, too, sometimes in unexpected places.  I have an apartment that I love, and great flatmates (although that wasn't always the case).  That situation may be changing, but, as always, I'll roll with it.

At the moment I feel like I have a fair amount going on, but that I'm not really achieving anything.  I've always had a bit of a lack of motivation (slash direction), and at the moment that tiny amount is being stretched out towards disparate, often vague goals (although reading about the Mosaic approach yesterday makes me feel a little more positive about it!).  My Chinese has improved somewhat, despite me not paying much attention to it.  Despite (or including) all the distractions, there are a couple of things in my life that make me really happy, and I can't really complain too much about the other stuff.  It's all balanced out by positives and side benefits. 

An upcoming trip home is also distracting me, and I can't wait to catch up with friends and eat a bunch of things that I can't get here.  I will probably come back to China with a lactose intolerancy from the copious amounts of dairy I am likely to consume.  Hopefully it will be balanced out by the meats and seafoods.  I haven't been out of Asia for over two years, so I hope that there's no reverse culture shock.  I may be able to ask for exactly what I want, and then receive it.  Amazing.  Perhaps I'll experience some kind of overload because I'll actually be able to understand everything that's on TV, in advertising, and in the conversations of strangers (although those strangers probably won't be standing quite so close to me as they would be on, say, any of the trains going through People's Square).

In light of a few recent developments, and of course the upcoming Expo 2010 (which probably nobody outside of China has even heard of), I'm feeling pretty positive about the next year.  I hope it pans out even better than I envision it...

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Well this doesn't make me feel safer crossing the road...

On the way to KTV in Fuxing Park the other night (slightly tipsy, but in a taxi), I noticed that there was a policeman giving a breathalyser test to a neighbouring motorist.  In what looked like an extremely lazy roadblocking manoeuvre, the cops were walking down the queue of cars at the intersection of Chongqing Lu and Huaihai Lu, and seemed to only be stopping at cars with open windows.  Way to save time there, guys.

Today I read the following on Shanghaiist, and it doesn't make me feel any better.

"Those who drive dare not to drink, those who drink dare not to drive" is a particularly apt and Chinese way to summarize the philosophy behind the recent crackdowns on drunk driving in Shanghai. Sina News recently published a Cops-esque article about dragnets set up at hotels around the city, which captured more than 1200 drunk drivers in just the last ten days. The drama included stakeouts of hotel parking lots, intersection checkpoints, and even searches for "sleeper cars" with drunk drivers trying to "sleep it off". Once caught, techniques of avoiding arrest in Shanghai range from the internationally popular "drink two bottles of mineral water" to the less palatable "wash your mouth out with soap". It seems the Shanghai police are serious about this campaign: they've even forced on-duty policemen to turn off their mobile phones to avoid "preferential treatment" of suspects. Amazing!    

Source: Shanghaiist

 

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